I can't articulate what has motivated me to finally begin a blog on the evening of CMS' first snow day of 2011. Perhaps it's the shock of actually having some spare time. Or maybe it's the desire to do something productive. Either way, as I reflect upon making it to the halfway mark of my first year teaching (which at many times I doubted possible), I have realized today that the precious and painful stories of the past four months as a first-year teacher cannot be left in my own mind to forever perseverate on. I want them out there for friends, families, and acquaintances to read about. I want them here to draw upon for wherever else life may take me.
This will sound like the ultimate cliche, but very recently I've become excited about life. Let me put it this way: when many people go through high school and college, they follow a path or "pattern" so to speak. In high school, you start to take Honors and AP classes to impress college admissions departments. You continue to thrive in your hobbies such as sports, student council, or dance. By junior year, you start touring colleges and take the SAT's (and if you're like me, you take them twice because you're a horrible standardized test taker). Then before you know it, you're off to college, living in a dorm, and agonizing over what to major in. You somehow meet even better friends than you had in high school, join a sorority or fraternity, study abroad, and rise into new hobbies and leadership positions on campus. You move off campus with best friends to live in apartments and houses. You thrive in your major classes, struggle through senior seminar, apply to graduate schools, jobs, and before you know it, graduation has slapped you across the face.
And here I am, living alone in Charlotte, North Carolina 8 months post college graduation. I am paying rent, bills, and car insurance. I still have wonderful friends, a boyfriend, and family that supports me on a daily basis no matter where they are. I have a job. And oh wait... that job title is: 8th grade science teacher. Nowhere in that "pattern" I spoke of before did it end in me teaching students basic chemistry at a Title I middle school in Charlotte. But yet here I am learning, struggling, and fighting for my 70 students' achievement every day. My mom told me during this winter break that, "Teach for America sure knew what they were doing when they selected you." You always have to smile when your parent's compliment you like that. They're your parents, they're supposed to say that, right? But this past week I've really begun to think. Even if Teach for America and the field of Education wasn't in that original "path" I was paving for myself... it's in my path now. The 5:30am alarm, 20 minute "lunch breaks" with hundreds of 8th graders in the cafeteria, 15-hour work days, and endless lesson planning are all leading me somewhere down the path. And though I am not sure where that path goes, I'm excited for it.
Since I haven't stated it yet, let me do so now: I LOVE my 70 students. I do. It's taken me a while to get to this place (trust me, I probably wouldn't have said that in October). But this past week back after winter break has solidified this realization. My kids drive me nuts. They make me laugh, cry, grow, agonize and everything in between. But these children will be the reason I am a stronger person. And this blog is a place where I plan to share them and the many entertaining and meaningful stories they've given me. I do not plan to share their actual names for the purpose of their privacy, but I hope that if you choose to read this blog, that my stories as a first-year teacher entertain, comfort, and inform you in some way. Here's to the next 5 months and all the more learning that is ahead of me.
Katherine
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